What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
10.06.2025 04:53
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
Can you write a short story with a twist ending?
I never cut or harmed myself..
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
We all went to grammer schools
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Where the ultimate outsiders.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
What are the best examples of reverse psychology?
I write beautiful poetry .
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
She was in good health!
So, i spoilt her more .
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
What are some good inspirational movies?
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
All the time i was locked up.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
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As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
If babies could write, what questions would they ask on Quora?
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
So whats the point in blame.
When she asked me how she looked .
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And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
But it wasn’t much.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
Is depression a cause for always feeling tired?
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
I could never make a relationship work though!
Who then, do I blame.?
I was seconnd youngest,
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
As i do to all so called friends.?
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Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
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Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Was to survive, this bastard.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
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Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
I said to her
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
My family never makes their pension either.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
And i lived it daily.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
I know ,a lot about trauma.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
Im still living with it.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
This is soul school!.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
I was 9 years of age.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
But ive been too sick for many years..
I couldn’t, believe it.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
One cannot live in the past .
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
I will be 64.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
I had hoped to write a book about this .
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Put me off passion for life!!
They are buried together, in the same grave..
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
My life is so biszare .
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
Would this be the day?
I was very sick at this time too.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
She found it foreign!.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
I was scared of men, in general
I have no regrets .
She loved him until the end.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Im dying but, im not bitter.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
She married twice! .
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Comes on , in middle age.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
It was going to be , some day.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
She wouldn,t have been !
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
We were not on the streets..
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
Ive learnt so much.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
(And it was in our own minds.)
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
He resisted the act ,that day.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
He knew the spot.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
I think the readers, may guess!
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
Especially a lifetime of it.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
I did it because my mum asked me too!
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
I don,t even have a pension.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
Why did i forgive my father ?
But, we were locked up after school.
What did i know ?
I waited trembling.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.